Common misconceptions about therapy
Selecting a therapist that’s best for you
Talking to your loved ones about wanting to see a therapist
Photo credit: Max van den Oetelaar via Unsplash.
Common misconceptions about therapy
Seeking mental health support has long been stigmatized by all generations. Even though Millennials and Gen Z have been at the forefront of the mental health movement in recent years — breaking barriers and busting myths about mental illness — there are still many stereotypes that are common among all age groups today.
Whether those stereotypes have been continued by individuals who were never truly educated about mental health and seeking treatment and passed onto younger generations, or peers use it to taunt or bully their classmates, it’s vital to deconstruct the myths and stigmas surrounding therapy.
While there are many more than this blog will review, here are a few common misconceptions and the real benefits of seeking help from a mental health professional:
To seek therapy, an individual must have “serious issues”
No matter what generation you’re a part of, one of the most popular misconceptions is that if someone goes to therapy, that means that they’re weak or must have experienced a severe breakdown and are considered “crazy”.
In reality, mental health is a spectrum. It’s incredibly important to note that not all people who attend therapy have been diagnosed with a mental illness, and those who seek out help are not always motivated by a horrible experience. Sometimes, people attend therapy to achieve goals of navigating everyday stressors, like test anxiety or how to confront a coworker who’s not respecting their boundaries. All sorts of people with different challenges seek the help and guidance of mental health professionals, from people with mental illness (e.g., anxiety, depression, personality disorders) to individuals who have experienced trauma (e.g., domestic or sexual violence, gun violence), individuals who are experiencing grief, individuals navigating stress of a job or school, neurodivergent individuals (e.g., ADHD, autism, OCD), and more.
2. Your experience isn’t “bad enough” to go to therapy
Similar to the above misconception, some people believe that you need to have experienced a horrible, life-changing trauma to have a validated reason for attending therapy. You don’t.
While it’s important for you to seek a diagnosis from a professional in the case that you do believe you’re experiencing a mental illness, there are no requirements for therapy. You may come across therapists who specialize in certain areas, which is something to keep in mind, but you, as an individual, do not have to be experiencing an illness or something considered “serious” to want to seek support for your troubles. Your desire to attend therapy is just as valid as the next person’s.
3. Therapy is expensive
Therapy can be expensive. The cost of therapy can both discourage and intimidate people into thinking that seeking professional help is not worth the money when they have other financial worries. But what’s also true is that not all therapy is expensive.
Mental health professionals provide services in a variety of settings, ranging from affordable or even free, community health clinics to private practices with high hourly rates. So, when you look for a mental health professional, you need to always keep in mind what your cost range is, including if you have insurance or not. Most mental health professionals genuinely want to help you, and if they cannot accept you as a client due to financial constraints, they may refer you to someone who can. The second thing to keep in mind is what your goal is, in terms of a timeline. When you meet and talk with a mental health professional, they may suggest a different timeline based on your challenges and needs, but if you’re only going to therapy for a short period, it may be worth considering this investment in yourself. Another factor to consider is if you’re comfortable with teletherapy — via phone, Skype, or a similar mode — which can alleviate costs allocated towards commuting to and from therapy or scheduling appointments around a busy school or work schedule.
Selecting a therapist that’s best for you
Finding a therapist can be challenging. For some people, the first therapist they find might be good enough for them, while for others, it may take visiting several therapists before you find your match.
When it comes to finding the best therapist, there are many different factors to keep in mind, including that while one therapist might be a good fit for a friend, that doesn’t mean they will be the right fit for you.
Here are some factors to consider when therapist-searching:
Compatibility — During your first consultation, consider how your therapist responds to your experiences. Do they offer helpful advice? Does talking to them feel natural or forced?
Cost — Consider if they accept insurance, offer scholarships, etc. If you’re a college student, many universities offer students access to counseling services for free as well.
Cultural competence — Do they have the training and experience necessary to understand your perspective and help you with your personal challenges? If it’s important for your therapist to understand how your cultural background (ethnicity, race, religion, socioeconomic status, sexual orientation/gender identity) shapes you, you may want to consider changing to a therapist who specializes in your culture (Seales, 2022).
Goals — What are your goals (e.g., start medication, try a specific treatment method, or length/duration of how long you want to attend therapy)?
Referrals and recommendations — Consider asking friends, family members, or other healthcare professionals for their recommendations.
Specialization — For example, if you’re looking for expertise to help with PTSD, an eating disorder, etc., or even if a professional uses a holistic approach, you may opt for a therapist who specializes in a certain area.
Therapy type — Do they offer in-person or virtual? Do you prefer individual sessions or are you looking for group therapy options?
Travel times/location — How long does it take to commute? Do you want to attend therapy in your hometown or a neighboring community?
Talking to your loved ones about wanting to see a therapist
Talking about mental health is uncomfortable, and especially challenging to tell those you love that you want to seek help. Much like the common misconceptions of therapy, many family members may immediately think that they raised their child wrong for them to want to seek therapy or not trust them enough to talk about their personal challenges. Sometimes, this is what keeps people from seeking help because they don’t want those around them to feel guilty about why they want to see a professional.
While not all children and young adults grow up with warm and loving families, those close to you need to realize that the role of a therapist is quite different from that of a parent, sibling, friend, partner, etc. Not only does a therapist provide an unbiased perspective into your life, but they have the appropriate training and experience and are familiar with the treatment strategies necessary to help you improve.
Here are some tips for talking to your loved ones about wanting to see a therapist:
Write down your concerns and identify which ones you want to tell them.
Explain your feelings and emphasize that you want to attend therapy. When some people immediately hear that you’re struggling, loved ones may jump into problem-solving mode, but it’s crucial for them to understand the role of a professional and validate your feelings.
Be prepared for resistance. Some people may not understand why you want therapy and they may push back on the idea. You may have to talk to them again, and if you’re a minor, you may consider seeking out another trusted adult who can help you talk to your family about wanting to see a therapist.
Do your research. While some people may be more informed about therapy, not all are, and if you are interested in a certain type of therapy, it’s better to conduct some research first on who or where your needs may be best addressed.
Sources & further reading
Arzt, N. (2023). How do I tell my parents I need therapy? Choosing Therapy.
I Don’t Mind. (2019). So you think you can’t afford therapy: Affordable ways to work therapy into your life. https://idontmind.com/journal/so-you-think-you-cant-afford-therapy.
Seales, J.L. (2022). Cultural competence in therapy: What it is and how to find it. PsychCentral. https://psychcentral.com/pro/working-towards-cultural-competence-in-therapy#defining-it.
Vandergriendt, C. (2020). Signs your therapist is good for you. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/signs-of-a-good-therapist.
Wisner, W. (2022). 7 signs a therapist is not the right fit. Very Well Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/7-signs-a-therapist-is-not-the-right-fit-6374190.
Disclaimer: The content on this website is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a mental health professional or other qualified provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. If you think you may be experiencing a medical emergency, please call 911.
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